ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Found the puke drawer
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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