I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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