but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
