Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
