I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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