this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
