I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
