is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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