Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
