gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
