hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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