he thought i was a dude.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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