Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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