I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize