Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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