Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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