So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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