It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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