Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
