I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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