Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
