i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
