So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize