the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
