Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
