You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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