He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Terrible idea I love it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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