# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
