marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
