Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
