Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize