It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
