the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize