This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
