ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
