We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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