You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
