so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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