her vagine was all disorganized.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
