she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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