The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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