I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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