Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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