from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
