You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
