that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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