he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
