R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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