So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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