im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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