D3 body, D1 cock
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I met the friendliest cop last night
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
