i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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