Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
