dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize