this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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