i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
