I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
