I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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