She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
