What a fucking waste of an outfit
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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