Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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