just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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