no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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