that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
