You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
