this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
