I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
