If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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