O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
don't judge my taste in strippers
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
