You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
