I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
