Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
