he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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