I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
